I want to talk about something I also feel passionate about this morning.

I have 6 children with my husband Jamal. Our oldest Isa had been bullied when he entered middle school, and suffered through about 2 years of bullying, and a hard time at school. He didn’t want to go, and he was just so unhappy. It’s the worse feeling to realize the feelings of pain your child goes through every day at school.

I posted this reply on a thread started by Ray Rice, who has an anti-bullying campaign, and is an amazing football player for the Baltimore Ravens (my team!).

First post by Ray Rice on this:

“I want to know exactly what is going on at Dundalk High School. NOT happy about all the messages I am getting from students about a boy being bullied so bad he is attempting to hurt himself repeatedly. NOT happy that many of the messages involve the staff not acting or taking written reports which they are required to do. Don’t be a bystander and let this happen! What the heck is going on?? Message me if you can shine some light on the situation over there because i do not like waking up to messages like this and quite honestly, this is avoidable and it PISSES ME OFF!”

There were a lot of replies. This was mine:

“We should be GRATEFUL first that these students did send messages to Ray Rice to let him know because obviously we can see here that it worked to bring attention to this situation. They can turn to him when they felt they couldn’t turn to someone else, or that that someone else wasn’t doing enough. I stand by these students and children who are being bullied because this is a real situation. It’s 100% real. It has happened to all of us to some degree or another but it’s getting worse. We’re busy parents, we keep ourselves busy. We need sit back reflect, and take a a few moments with ours kids then we normally do. They need us.

I also want to say that as a mom of 6, with my oldest having being bullied, and with Ray’s reply to my message to him, this helped and my son is actually doing a whole lot better. The teachers in my son’s life now make a world of difference.

Everyone here knows and this is the truth, that you remember and recall the teachers that made a difference in YOUR life. We know who those teachers are because we remember them. We know which ones cared for us, truly cared. My oldest son without his team of passionate teachers who got his back at school, wouldn’t be doing well. He used to hit himself often, and be really angry. It’s a parents worse nightmare.

Just put yourself in their shoes, be your child for a day at school, be him/her, and see how it feels. It’s hard. Feel their pain and you’ll understand. We as parents need to be there for them, and teachers part of your job is teaching and being a good role model, this def goes past just being your job. We need our kids to know they are cared about, and that you got their backs.

I look at it this way, that it takes a community/village to raise our children. Once people can accept and realize that, we’ll all be better off and we’ll actually help each other out.

Parents know what’s going on with your kids. Be with them. Make a list of things they want. You’ll be shocked that all they want is to hang out with you for hot chocolate or coffee. Do this before it’s too late and they feel they can no longer do this with you.
Teachers talk to your kids. Ask them how they’re doing. Let them know you’re there for them anytime they want to walk into your office/classroom and talk.

Life is short. No one wants to say what if, or what could of been, before their gone and it’s too late.

Thank you Ray, and everyone for listening. For taking time out of YOUR busy schedule, in the middle of YOUR work to care for OUR children as your own.

I can’t wait for the day I can shake your hand.”

Ray Rice further posted another reply thanking everyone. 

“I would like to thank the overwhelming number of parents, teachers, and students from DHS who have messaged pledging to not be a bystander to bullying!! Horrible to wake up to messages about a kid in the hospital over an attempted suicide he says is because of bullying. I am THRILLED with the positive response from teachers and students promising to work together. We CAN make a difference!!! THANK YOU ALL FOR TAKING ACTION!!”

“One or two bad decisions. That dream can become a nightmare-Ray Rice”

Video: Ray Rice’s advice to the Youth

What will Ray Rice’s legacy be?

http://youtu.be/TNxPtqiYel0